At 4 days old, Emma underwent surgery for a right VP shunt placement. It went perfectly and being the strong fighter that she is, they were even able to remove her breathing tube fairly soon after surgery. Unfortunately, that came out and an NG feeding tube went in. Emma was not eating and the doctors wanted to make sure she got the proper nourishment for recovery. After I was discharged from the SDU upstairs in the hospital, I made the 1+ hour drive to and from the hospital everyday to see my baby. I would get there as early as possible and leave as late as possible. There would be days that I would just sit by her bedside and stare at her while she slept for hours on end. I would get home at night and cry for hours because my baby wasn’t with me. The pain and angst I felt not having Emma home with me was a feeling no mother should ever have to feel. It felt like a piece of me was missing and I would stare at her picture each night and bawl while I pumped bottles for her feeding tube the next day. For 3 weeks I made the drive by myself mostly to and from the hospital. I couldn’t go a day without being with her. Finally, after I learned how to place her NG tube, in case it came out, the doctors felt Emma was ready to go home. I’d never been more excited in my life!!